John Wicker.com

I want to talk about an issue near and dear to my heart today, and that issue is confidence in yourself.

I have self-confidence issues from way, way back. Traumatic childhood, tough time in school, blah blah blah. Everyone has a sad story to tell, and to be honest, there’s probably a little bit of a loner or an outcast inside of every person that has gotten up in front of someone to play rock and roll– on some level, this music appeals to the rebellious folk who want to lash out.

So whether you have big-time issues or you’re the most confident cat in the club, at some point in your journey things are going to get to you. Maybe you had a bad gig. Maybe you had an argument with your girlfriend or were sick. Maybe you’re struggling to make an impact, to get signed, to get paid, or even to get a gig. Everyone has those moments where we think “Why am I doing this? Why would anyone want to actually come see me play? Who am I to think I’m something special?”

My favorite one is the old standby of “I’m never going to be as good as [insert super talented person] so what’s the point?” Everyone has had that thought once or twice– hell, I have it once or twice a day. But guess what– Bruce Springsteen wasn’t as good as the Beatles back when he started playing. Stevie Ray Vaughn didn’t have the chops to compare to Hendrix when he picked up his first guitar, and I’ll bet he probably didn’t have them even after five years at it. But both of those guys, and all of the other big names in the pantheon of rock and roll, did the same thing: they stuck with it.

I get the down on myself feeling a lot, especially right after a gig. I’m a perfectionist to the core, and if things don’t go as well as I’d like them to it really gets to me. I’ve done gigs where every rehearsal was awesome but then when I got in front of a microphone I couldn’t hit the first note. I’ve done gigs where everyone says we did a great show and all I can think about is how I messed up the lyrics, or stepped on somebody’s solo, or how the one of the comments or jokes I made between songs fell flat. After my best performance ever, I was still driving home thinking about how I was a little flat at the beginning of the first song, and then fumbled a lyric in the fourth one.

When I first started playing guitar seriously, I was in high school. I had a friend in school who had a band, and I thought he was a phenomenally talented musician. They played in front of real audiences, they knew their material, and they were TIGHT. We graduated the same year, and one day at our graduation rehearsal, he told me something that I remember to this day: “Dude, you’ve been playing guitar for what, two years now? If you aren’t good after six months, or really good after a year, you never will be.” Kind words, indeed. I told him to shove it up his ass.

But that comment stuck with me. I kept thinking about it every so often when I practiced, and even more so when I messed up a riff or struggled with some technique. And eventually, I internalized it and gave up playing. So I listened to a punk-ass kid and that kept me from doing what I really love for about 15 years.

When things are getting you down, if you’re frustrated with your progress, if you discover you’re actually human and that you make mistakes, don’t give up. When someone tells you you’ll never make it, think about them while you practice and hold it in your heart the next time the crowd goes wild when you finish a song. Keep moving forward and always take the positives from every situation. It doesn’t matter if you have a setback– learn from it and keep at it. Ask anyone who is truly successful and they’ll tell you that 10% of their success is due to talent and the other 90% is all hard work. That means that even if you’re a talentless hack (and you aren’t), you can still be better than 90% of the people out there when you work at it.

Keep working it. Keep a positive attitude and remember that a mistake is really just an opportunity to learn. Believe in yourself even if no one else does, and when you make it, your success will be all the sweeter for it. Don’t let them get you down!