John Wicker.com

Be Ready to Handle Jerks
Jerks come in all flavors, from the funny guy who yells “Freebird” during every break between songs all the way up to the drunks who jump up on stage, start fights or trash your gear. They are a part of performing and one that you’ll need to have strategies to deal with. For “Freebird” guy, learn part of “Freebird” or even the whole thing. Radiohead doesn’t play “Creep” live very often, but when they do, it’s usually at the start of the show, and it shuts up everyone that was going to yell for it all night long.

Learn some gentle comments and comebacks. Use your sense of humor and get the crowd on your side if something happens during a set– “Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer…” is a great line when some yahoo is mouthing off. Go to YouTube and search for “heckler” and you’ll find hundreds of videos of comedians putting hecklers down with a variety of techniques ranging from the gentle and subtle all the way to angry shouting matches and physical confrontation.

One on one, be nice but firm. Some people are never happy and some people are always looking for attention. Sometimes a jerk will be go back and forth between a complete asshole to being your best buddy. Other times they’ll be jerks one night and not even remember it happening the next time you see them. If you can’t work it out with your jerk, you might just have to walk away or excuse yourself.

Back up your bandmates– if you see them getting cornered by somebody and they’re having trouble handling it, walk over and tell them you need to discuss the next set, or that their keyboard sounded funky during the last song, or that their mom just called. Anything to give them an excuse to get away.

And if things actually get physical, watch out for each other. If all else fails, you’ve got lots of heavy shit within easy reach– don’t be afraid to use it if you absolutely have to.

Don’t Become a Jerk- Be Straight
I’m not talking about sexual preference here– I’m talking about using chemicals. You DON’T sound better when you’re drunk. You AREN’T funnier or better looking when you’re stoned. Take your performance seriously. Most people don’t show up drunk for work and most people don’t go to work and get drunk while they’re doing their job.

When you’re messed up you don’t have the same judgment and fewer inhibitions. Wanna know what’s not funny? A drunk guy telling a joke that he just KNOWS is funny. Having good judgment is key to playing a place more than once, earning new gigs, and making sure the audience is on your side. Keeping your self in check can be the difference between being the “cute guy from the band” and being the drunk loser who hits on every girl at the show.

Don’t become the jerk that your band mates have to prepare themselves for. And if someone comes to you to talk to you about your recreational activities during a show, listen to them and take it seriously. No one with a chemical problem initially believes they have a problem.

What you do after the show is on your time. Don’t use the time provided you by the audience and your band mates to chase your personal demons. Save that shit for the VH1 special.

Help Tear Down and Load Out
The show is done, the crowds have filed out, and everyone is tired. You’re coming down from the rush, you’ve been playing for four hours or more, you’ve done a sound check, and set up all this gear, and you’ve driven halfway across town or across the state. You’ve been at this all day already.

Tearing down is often akin to running into a wall– everything is going great and then WHAM! Now’s the time to work together and get things done quickly. Many hands make light work. Tearing something down is always easier than setting it up anyways, so suck it up and get it done.

Some bands don’t even split the money until everything is loaded up and ready to go. It’s hard to ask for money when you’ve sat on your ass watching everyone else schlep gear out to the truck for the last half hour.

Wrap it Up Already!
This is the last post in this series (finally!), and here are a few parting words: Work with your band mates, remember that you’re there to do a job, treat people with respect, and have a good time. It will pay dividends down the road.

I’ve played with a lot of different people and in a lot of different places over the last few years, and it seems like there are some common practices that people follow when they’re playing out. It kind of sounds strange to think of rock and roll having a set of rules, but if you want to play with someone more than once, and especially if you’re going to be playing with them a whole lot, here are some tips for getting along, getting paid, and getting asked back to play again. The first part of this series part one is already online.

Be Nice
If you hire someone and they treat you like shit or act like an asshole, would you want to hire them back? Of course not! That applies to the bar owner or whoever is paying you, and it also applies to your band mates.

As a musician, you’re at a show to have fun and be adored, but you’re also there to do a job. Handle the audience with respect, make announcements if you’re asked to, talk up how great the bartenders and the waitresses are every chance you get. Pimp the drink specials or the appetizers, or offer up a toast if you can– anything you do to increase sales for the owner will get you moved up the list of bands to invite back, and if you make friends with the employees you’ll have an in there as well.

Requests
Take requests if you can, and if you can’t play what they want, tell them you’ll learn their requested song for the next time you play there. Offer up alternatives. “Hey, we don’t do Brown Sugar but we do Honkey Tonk Women– how’s that?” When you play the request, mention the name of the person that asked for the song.

And when it comes to making dedications for particular songs, bring up stuff that a lot of people will identify with– play songs for all the baseball fans, or all the redheads, or whatever. Whenever I play “Some Kind of Wonderful” I ALWAYS dedicate it to the ladies in the room, or all the blondes, or something. Play one song for the blondes and then do the next one for the brunettes. If you have a big crowd, you can even make up events to celebrate. “We’ve got a special couple here tonight celebrating their seventh anniversary. They wanted us to play a love song.” Anything that gets an audience to applaud and be happy is going to go a long way towards ensuring they enjoy the show, and that’s a good thing.

Birthdays are a special opportunity– learn “Birthday” by the Beatles or some other appropriate song so you can whip it out at a moments notice. Be sure to announce the birthday before or even during the song, and play it up any way that you can– the person with the birthday will either love it or get embarrassed, but their friends will eat it up. Either way, you’ll be remembered and you just might find the birthday person turns the tables on one of their friends at one of your shows later on.

Build a Fan base on Nice
A following is built one person at a time, and being cool to the people that come to see you and the folks that hire you goes a long way. Personal connections, whether they’re based on an actual interaction or on an emotional reaction a listener has to the music that you play, are the way to build a fan base.

I’ve played with a lot of different people and in a lot of different places over the last few years, and it seems like there are some common practices that people follow when they’re playing out. It kind of sounds strange to think of rock and roll having a set of rules, but if you want to play with someone more than once, and especially if you’re going to be playing with them a whole lot, here are some tips for getting along, getting paid, and getting asked back to play again.

Be on time
Nobody likes to worry about whether or not you’re going to show up. Walking in at the last possible minute can lead to ulcers, gnashed teeth, and excessive sweating.

Life can sometimes intrude, so if you’re going to be late for some unavoidable reason, pick up the phone and let people know what’s going on.

Bring Spares
Whatever you play, bring back up parts. Strings, reeds, picks, cables, straps, cords, power cables, drum heads– they can and will crap out on you at the worst possible time. Have something handy to replace them if you can.

If you can, bring along a backup instrument, and make sure it’s on hand and ready to be played if at all possible. It’s much better to grab your backup axe than to cut a set short so you can change strings. Some will say that you should be able to carry on when strings break, and you should. Other times having the spare will be the only thing that will save the show– if your keyboard stops working it isn’t like you can whip out a screwdriver and a soldering iron and fix it between sets.

Be sure that you’ve got whatever tools you’ll need to make quick fixes as well. A spare set of strings or a drum head is useless if you can’t get your fancy floyd rose unlocked or if you left your drum key on the desk by the front door.

Share
If somebody is hurting for something they forgot or something that just quit on them, and you happen to have one on hand, don’t laugh at them for being unprepared. At least now until after the show, that is. Throw them a spare cable and get the show moving again– and if it’s not an expendable item or a throw away (I’m looking at guitar strings and picks here) then be sure you get it back at the end of the night.

Work Out the Money Before You Get Paid
Work out who is going to get paid what before you arrive at the show. Most bands do an equal split, but some don’t. If someone provides all the equipment they might get two shares. An equal share might be set aside against expenses– rental gear, recording, merchandise and so on. There might be an agent’s cut or there might be an extra taste for the person who brought in the gig. You might be coming in as a last-minute replacement expecting a full cut only to find out you’re getting something entirely different.

Figure out all of this stuff before the money gets handed out. Nothing can kill the buzz of a great show faster than arguing over money.

Help Load In and Set Up
It has been my experience that drummers need the most time to set up, followed by keyboard players, guitarists, bass players, and finally the singer. Of course, we’re not mentioning that someone has to set up the PA gear, or that you might be playing more than one instrument or playing and singing.

Drummers usually have to carry the most gear, but it’s usually bulky but not super heavy. Bass players have the heaviest amps on the face of the planet. Guitarists might have a guitar or two, plus amps and effects. They get off with stuff that’s mostly light, but you have to be careful carrying it around because you don’t want to break the neck off of your Les Paul. Keyboard players tend to have delicate electronics and they usually don’t have the good sense to buy a hard shelled case for it.

And whoever handles the sound? Mixers, power amps, monitors, sub-woofers, mains, multiple 50 and 100 foot cables. And don’t forget the lighting rig, if you have one.

So you’re all set up and ready for the sound check? Great! What about everyone else? A lot of people are kind of callous about helping someone else out, but when it comes down to it, you’re all gonna sound like shit if the sound guy didn’t have enough time to get everything set up and skipped the sound check.

Offer to carry stuff, run cables, set up lights and mic stands, tape up set lists, whatever you can do. Even if you’re not physically capable of lifting heavy stuff, running cables from mics, monitors, speakers, and so on can still be a big help. There are always a million things to do, but many hands make light work. My last band could load in and be ready for sound check in 45 minutes, with every bit of the gear I talked about. When I played Rupp arena last month, it took more like two hours because we didn’t know each other well enough to have a system down.

Look for more tips in the next article in the series.

Okay, so there is a really big gig in the works. Not huge. Not earth-shattering. Not a Superbowl Half-Time show. But really big.

I can’t say anything more about it, just yet, but it is looking good so far. So here’s to keeping your fingers crossed…

The open mic at Bearno’s on Sunday was a blast. The food was great, the crowd was awesome, and the music was incredible!

Things were supposed to get started around 7 PM but for a couple of reasons, things were a little late getting started. The first band up were The Cigarittes— these guys had the look down and were playing some awesome tunes… Van Halen, Poison, the Stones, the Doors. Incredible musicians, and they’re all so young! Totally not sure about the name, though.

Spare Parts were up next and we got set up really quickly, which was impressive to me, since we had a keyboard, two amps and two sets of guitar effects, and six people to get in place and ready to go.  I was really pleased with the sound and I could hear what everyone was playing pretty well from on the stage. The real trick, of course, is what it sounds like in the audience– you have to hope for the best, but you never really know. Luckily, Larry (who runs the open mic for Bearno’s) was giving me updates on where the sound was at, and I was able to tweak the sound levels at the mixing board as I sang.

We did six songs– “Some Kind of Wonderful”, “Gimme Three Steps”, “Cumbersome”, “Keep Your Hands to Yourself”, “Honky Tonk Women”, and “Pride and Joy”– and we all had a blast. We had to restart one song because of a technical issue, but we recovered from it gracefully. The crowd seemed to enjoy the music, and we enjoyed playing even more. The biggest deal to me, however, was the fact that we had gotten together to practice exactly one time before that performance. We had literally just met each other for the first time Friday afternoon, but we all knew our parts and it came together really well.

When we were done, a band called Duet Upright (sorry, can’t find a link) took the stage. They had a stripped down and intimate feel, and their harmonies were very tight. I heard them do the better part of “Halleluah” by Leonard Cohen and it was breathtaking, but I had to get the rest of my family home. The next time out, I hope I get to hear more of their performance.

Thanks to everyone who came out to see us, and to all of the new folks we met there!

My new band, Spare Parts, is playing tomorrow night at Bearnos by the Bridge (2nd and Main Street).

They call this “Sunday Night Band Practice”, and it lasts for half-an-hour per band. However, I haven’t played out since August– and since there are live people to play in front of,  and a stage to play upon, I’m thinking of it as gig!

So come down to Bearno’s tomorrow at 7 PM tomorrow night, and check out Spare Parts. Please? Thanks!